Holy Screaming Monkeys Batman

Well, my sister is giving away screaming monkeys on her blog, and in order to get more chances to win I'm putting this post on my blog.
Imagine this, a nice demure seamstress working quietly in the sewing area at Missionary Mall. The salesmen are taking a short break between customers and decide to tease the seamstress. Out of no-where a scream sounds and a furry monkey comes flying over the divider and hits the seamstress.
I'll admit, this didn't happen to me, it happened to my co-worker Jordan, (and I might have exaggerated some of the details), but the result was Jordan getting hit by a screaming monkey. Wouldn't it be fair for the seamstress to have at least one screaming monkey to do a defensive assault with? I would love to have some, just in case it ever happened to me.
Have a great day!